No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
