I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she pinky promised me she was 18
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
