whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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