I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
