I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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