Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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