so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
