...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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