oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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