Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
