Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
