and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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