He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Boobs are out for the taking
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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