apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
