i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize