i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize