this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
