Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
