I think I won the penis lottery.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
