Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
