why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
