dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Houston, we have a squirter
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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