i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
