it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I accidentally burped into my bong.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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