'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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