Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
