Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
