No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
