do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
