Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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