I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
