she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
