I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
