It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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