I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
