He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
