if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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