Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
