there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
