There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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