So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
