You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Your dad touched me again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
