hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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