So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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