chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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