He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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