I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
