I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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