Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
