his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
