Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
