I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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