You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
