don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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