so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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