shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
