my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
