i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
