Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
