i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
