where does the pee come out of this thing
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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