Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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