He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
