I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
